IC Time: April 12, 2007
Location: Cullen Living Room
Synopsis: The Cullen's talk and Carlisle gives gifts
Submitted by: Esme
So all night, Rosalie has closed herself up in Carlisle's study with her empty journal. It isn't until the early morning hours, about sunrise, that she finally comes out, carrying the journal with her. She's quiet as she goes to the living room, having heard the tv going in there.
Esme is the one in the living room, with the tv on low, on some news channel or another. She's not really paying any attention to it. When Rosalie walks in, Esme turns her head to look at her daughter. "Hello dear, how was your evening?" she enquires of her oldest daughter.
Rosalie climbs over the back of the couch and drops herself onto the cushions from behind, still holding the journal. "Hi Esme." Her voice is so very quiet. "It was okay. I'm glad vampires don't get writing cramps any more."
Esme chuckles quietly at Rosalie's comment. "I take it you put that journal to good use, than?" she questions, a smile playing across her face. "I'm glad," she gives with a nod of her head, looking towards her daughter, full of love for the blond vampire.
Carlisle comes down the steps after being busy getting a few things packed. "Hello hello." he says to the pair before walking over to an empty soft chair settling within it. "Everyone alright today?" he asks looking mainly towards Rosalie with a bright smile.
"Yeah." Her tone is still quiet and soft, like it has been since she came out of Carlisle's office the night before. Whatever happened in there, something shifted. "Yeah. Just find today, Carlisle. How are you?"
Esme turns her smile towards her husband for a bit. "Good morning, Carlisle," she gives, before nodding at Rosalie. "I'm glad things are working out, Rosalie, truly."
"I am very well." Carlisle nods towards his daughter. Shifting a little he looks towards his wife, "I finished packing finally. Our flight is in the morning."
"Good..good." Rosalie falls silent then for a moment, watching her father and mother talk about their planned trip. She inserts, softly, "I will make sure the rental car is waiting for you. Do you want the flashy one I reserved? Or the less flashy luxury car?"
Esme chuckles a bit, nodding. "I am looking forward to getting away. Rose, promise that you'll let us know if there's anything going on here that we need to know about?" she requests, before a bright grin is given. "Oh, Carlisle. Rosalie and Emmett are getting married," she tries to state it non-chalantly, but she really doesn't succeed, she's far too thrilled by the prospect of another wedding. "Whatever Carlisle wants, Rose, and I'll be happy."
Carlisle smiles brightens even more if that's possible, "Really? That is wonderful news!" It shouldn't come as a shock that this happens ever so many years. "I look forward to it." At least there is a better piece of news for them all, "We can go with the one you have reserved."
Rosalie smiles gently at her mother's spilling of the beans. "Uhm..we've been engaged, again, a few months now." Yes. They kept it a secret. "Thank you, though." Her head tips to the side. "I reserved you two cars though. I'll just leave the reservation for both of them, and let you pick which one you like better when you get there."
Esme smiles, cheerily. "I'm so happy for the two of you, Rose," she gives, chuckling. "Oh, to be able to have so many weddings," she gives, with a kind of dreamy voice, before she shakes her head, chuckling. "You're so efficient, Rosalie. What would we do without you?"
Carlisle stands up for a second then walks over to his daughter. Reaching into his pocket he pulls out a small box, "Since you are our first daughter. I want you to receive this first." Turning he takes out another box handing it to his wife, "Here you are my darling."
Rosalie blinks as she is handed a box. "What is this for?" She tips her head, then opens it…and blinks. And just stares. And then, she finds the engraving on the back. Her head lowers more. Emo Rose, clearly, the last few days.
Esme blinks as she takes the box from her husband. "Oh, Carlisle," she gives, not even opening the box before beaming at Carlisle. She does, however, open the box and pull out the necklace. "Oh! It's beautiful," she notes, looking over towards Rosalie, and then she flips the necklace over, still beaming. "Thank you," she answers, undoing the clasp to put the necklace on.
Thumpathumpathump. That's the sound of Alice's big black boots on the stairs, the laces rainbow coloured. Moving at a less than human pace, she came to join her parents and sister in the living room. "Presents??"
Carlisle smiles at the both before looking towards Alice with a chuckle. "Like you don't already know what it is." he teases lightly pulling out another small box handing it to her. This is what all the guys will be getting, without the diamond in theirs though. Holding up his right hand he shows a large silver ring inset with onyx stone with a silver Cullen crest in it, upon his as a symbol of head of the family is a diamond at the top of the crest.
You paged Alice with 'See, I know. I lurve him :D'
Whatever has been going on with Rosalie the last few days, its making her all emotional. Without letting go of either the journal or the box, still open in her hand, she practically throws herself at Carlisle, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him close to her.
Necklace still in hand, Esme follows Rosalie's example and is on her feet and at the side of her oldest daughter and her husband, wrapping her arms about the two of them. "I don't think it's possible to have a better family than this one," she gives, before sending a smile towards Alice.
"Aww, another group hug!" Alice joins her family, wriggling in between Rosalie and Esme and wrapping her arms around whoever she can reach. "Thank you, Carlisle, it's beautiful."
Carlisle is caught off guard by the sudden hug from Rosalie, her returns it closing his eyes only to chuckle once Esme and then Alice join him. "You're all very welcome." Even the doctor does like to shower his family with gifts every so often. "I love you all." he beams proudly.
"I love you too." Awww…what a touching family moment! But it is getting to be more than Rosalie can handle, with all the stuff that has been going on. Everyone is being so /nice/ to her. She has nothing to rant or rave about. When everyone agrees, how can she get angry and pout and march off to her room?!
Esme smiles and stands on her tip-toes to place a gentle kiss upon her husbands cheek. "You spoil us, Carlisle, terribly so," she gives with a teasing smile as she attempts to embrace everyone present. Esme soon disentangles herself from the group hug and puts on the necklace, before looking at the girls. "Since your father and I will be leaving tomorrow," she starts. "If either of you have any pressing matters, it would be prudent to bring them up today, at some point," she gives, with a slight nod of her head.
"Do you need help packing, Esme? Any last minute shopping that needs to be done?" Alice cocks her head quizzically and smiles at her parents. "The weather is going to be lovely.. you'll enjoy yourselves." Placing the box on the dining room table, Alice takes out the necklace and turns to Rosalie. "Rose, can you fasten this for me?"
Carlisle smiles to his family glad to see the day is going well, he'd hate to leave on a sour note. "I am good to go actually. I will miss you all but I am looking forward to this." Taking hold of his wife's hand lacing his fingers with her own. "As your mother said if there is anything else we need to discuss. Now would be the perfect time." he looks between Alice and Rosalie.
Rosalie pulls away only after the others do, being she was smushed in the middle of the puppy pile. She clears her throat, then moves to help Alice with her necklace, fastening it before extending her own necklace and turning for her sister to return the favor. "Actually, I have something I need to tell you. My plans, for while you are away. I wasn't going to. I was going to keep it secret. But given recent events, I think you should know."
Esme smiles in Alice's direction. "I'll likely take you up on that," she notes with a slight nod of her head as she gently squeeze's her husbands hand, still looking between her daughters. At Rosalie's comment, Esme quirks a brow, slightly. "We're listening, Rose," she gives, nodding.
Alice straightens her own necklace until it hangs just right, and then gets on tiptoe to do the clasp on Rosalie's necklace. She grins when Rose makes her little announcement. "Don't worry, it's nothing bad," she assures her parents.
Carlisle looks between the pair, "You have our attention."
Rosalie smiles at Alice once her necklace is on, one hand lifting to rest over it. "Well. I have learned, the last week and a half or so, that there is no way to remove a scent from an area. Over time, it will eventually fade until it is unnoticable by all but the most skilled, and eventually fade more. But there is no way to remove it. If you walk through an area, your scent is there, and that is just that." She clears her throat. "However. You can muddle the crap out of a scent, by putting more and more and more scents on top of it. Until it begins to fade, there would be confusion over what path went where. Again, except for all but the most skilled of trackers. So. While you are gone. We are having a party."
Esme blinks, slightly, before chuckling. "And here I thought it was something disasterous," she gives, laughing. "A party? So long as the house is in one peice when we get back, that's fine, girls," is given, before she grows more serious. "You're doing an excellent job, Rosalie, I would have never come to that conclusion," she commends, smiling.
Alice grins charmingly. "We shant burn anything down. Or if we do, we'll do it where the smoke smell can't get into the carpet." Alice nods, toying with her necklace, wrapping the chain around a finger, then unwrapping it.
Being as Carlisle is so quiet, Rose isn't sure he is convinced, so she goes on to further explain. "There will be some dancing in the house, unless we do it all outside, which might not be a bad idea. When it gets dark, there will be a bonfire in the backyard, and a 'Ghosts in the Graveyard' kind of scavenger hunt in the woods. This will have humans, other vampires, and wolves all over the property, over and over again, piling on top of our scents. There will be no drinking or drugs allowed. We would smell those, and we can have Jacob and his guys help us watch out for it, and make sure none of the other vampiric guests eat the human guests.."
Esme nods as she listens, hand still entwined with her husbands. "That makes sense, Rose. And I'm sure everyone will love it. Between you and Alice, we'll hear about it all the way in Prague, I'm certain," she gives, smiling. Esme doesn't even mention the shock of Rose inviting Jake and the wolves to the party.
Alice grins up at her parents angelically as Rose gives the details for the party, nodding in time with every word. "See? Rose has thought it all out perfectly. It will be fabulous."
Carlisle nods his head, "Sounds delightful and I trust that nothing will be broken. I'd like you to lock the library door though." He'd feel better knowing the library and his study will remain in tact. "Other than that I find it to be a great idea."
Rosalie nods her head. "Agreed, then. The library, as well as all doors upstairs, will be locked up tight. We will try to keep them outside as much as possible, and keep the dancing outside too. Maybe we can get a tent, and put space heaters, and keep them out of the house entirely?"
Esme nods at the girls. "I agree with your father. Make sure that nothing… incriminating can be found," if there is anything. "Otherwise, I know you'll all have a good time, and play nice," she directs at them, though maybe her glance turns towards Rosalie just a little more. "That's actually a good idea, Rose, let me know if you need anything that Alice can't do," of course, Alice can do all, so…
"We can stop in Port Angeles and get a tent and some space heaters," Alice offers. "And snacks and drinks for those guests that eat and drink. If the Jacob and his pack will be there, we'll need a /lot/ of food."
Carlisle slips an arm around his wife, "I trust you." He'd been more wary if Emmett approached with this idea or even Edward! "Rose you think you could give my car a tune up and all that while we are gone?"
Rosalie grins at her father. "Yes. I will tune your car and take care of it while you're gone. Don't worry. I'll get it detailed and everything."
Esme wraps her arm about her husband's back, nodding as she listens to the girls. "I'm sure you'll be able to convince Jacob to come," she gives, nodding. "Just tell him Bella will be here," oops, did she say that out loud? Too late now. "Rose, you're too good to us."
Alice bounces up and down, and claps. "It will be so fun! It will be the party of the year. People will talk about it for /years/ to come."
"Tell who Bella is here?" Bella asks as she comes into the room after spending a morning no doubt snuggling with Edward. She looks rather content and happy, face just a touch flushed. Her steps take her to Esme to give her a morning kiss on the cheek before settling in to sit on the ground near Alice's feet.
Carlisle looks over as they are joined, "Bella! Just who I need to talk to in a few minutes." Of course he wasn't going to pull her away right this moment, she just joined them no doubt just waking up. Settling on the couch, "Sleep well?" he asks.
Rosalie smiles a tiny bit at Alice being so excited for the party and all the praise. "Well, that was all I needed to say. Thank you again, Carlisle. And I will see you before you go, I'm sure." She gathers up her journal and the empty box. "Morning Bella. Dream of walls?" What a devious witch!! She heads for the stairs.
Esme laughs. "Of course people will be talking about it for years, Alice, with you and Rosalie planning the whole thing, it'll be wonderful," she gives, before turning her smile upon Bella. "Good morning, Bella. Did you…" she stops her question when Carlisle finishes it, causing a light giggle to come from her. At Rosalie's question, Esme laughs and shoots a glance towards Carlisle. "I'll explain later," she gives, trying, very hard, not to laugh, and she's not succeeding.
Alice smiles down at Bella. What an odd sensation to not have to look up at someone for once, but to look /down/. This must be what tall people feel like. "Hi, Bella. Did you sleep well?" She giggles at the mention of walls - what an odd vision to get in the night.
Bella looks up at Carlisle as he greets her, "Oh? Ok…" She responds, suddenly looking very much like a kid who is about to face a punishment. "Whenever yeah…" She says with a little nod before she looks up to Rosalie, cheeks flaming quite red at the question, before tilting her head down not quite answering the question, but the look said it all really. "I slept …well." She says clearing her throat slightly. Oh that rug looks very interesting right now. Very interesting.
Carlisle looks towards Rosalie as she prepares to depart, "Anytime Rosie.. See you before we leave." Once the question is poised towards Bella, he lifts a brow looking towards his wife only nodding as she plans to explain later. Though watching as Bella blushes red he can't help but wonder what he has missed. Figuring it to be a 'girl' thing he doesn't ask. "Hungry?" he asks finding that a question he is still trying to get used too after not having to ask anyone this in years.
Rose gives a sweet little wave as she heads to the stairs to find her hubby. "I'll see everyone later. And please, for the love of God, make her pancakes?" We don't need a repeat of the fried egg mess!
Esme chuckles a bit more at Bella's reaction to Rosalie's question. "I'd call you terrible, right now, Rosalie, but…" Esme offers a sheepish little grin and an upraised brow, as both Bella and Rose know she was in on the late night torment of the human. "Right, no eggs around Rose," she gives, with a chuckle.
"Why she has to smell Emmett all the time." Edward walks into the livingroom. He walks directly to Bella and leans in to kiss her on the cheek.
Bella is sitting on the floor at Alice's feet, looking exceeding red in the face. No doubt the Cullen ladies are torturing her again. At the question of food, Bella finally looks up again and shakes her head, "Edward brought me breakfast in bed…" She says with a sweet little smile, that grows as she sees Edward enter the room. She tilts her head up ,like a flower to the sun, to receive the kiss. She can't help but smile at his complaint, "And you are so different?" She teases him gently.
Carlisle rises back up to his feet once Edward joins them. "Come darling." he takes his wife by the hand, "Pardon us for a few minutes."
Rosalie snorts as she goes up the stairs to her room. "Yes, and we have to smell you all the time too, so it's only fair." With a grin, she keeps her eyes straight up, thinking back at Edward…/And your butt looks great in those pants, brother./
Esme twines her fingers with Carlisle's before smiling at her family. Behave, all of you. Alice, make sure you and Rose get the groceries you need. Take Bella with you, she'll know more about that than any of us do, and towards the oldest two. Could you two just keep getting along, for a bit longer? she requests, letting Carlisle lead her out."
Edward holds his hand down to Bella as if he can sense she needs to get out of the house. His eyes move to Rosalie as he snorts and turns to hide his smirk as he says to Bella, "why don't we head into town." He looks to his "favorite sister" Alice and says, "You can come too if your bored. We are going to see Jacob."
As Carlisle leads Esme out of the room, Bella looks a touch relieved. Well it is never good when parental types say they 'need to talk to you'. Brief reprieve really. Bella takes the hands held out to her and rises neatly to her feet. There is a nod to the words, "That would be good, I could use some fresh air…" And the girls not tormenting her with parental and sibling snickerdoodles! The mention of the name Jacob causes her to drop her head to his chest for a moment before nodding and looking up to him, "Yes, I would rather he found out from us…"
Alice grins at Edward. "I'll come with you guys, sure! Just let me get changed. Meet you in the foyer in two minutes?" With that, she zooms upstairs to change.
Carlisle walks into their room, "Hope you don't mind us getting away from the others for a moment." Not that they won't be gone for two weeks together. "What you think about everything?" he asks sititng down on the edg eof their bed.
Esme sits herself upon the bed and leans against her husband. "It's been quite the last few days, Carlisle," she gives, quietly, her voice so low, it's doubtful that anyone else would hear anything more than a faint murmur. "Last night, if something happened to anyone," she refers back to Rosalie's words from the meeting the night before, "if something happened to the children… if something happened to you…."
Carlisle hugs her close to him, sliding backwards in the bed pulling her with him. Kicking his shoes off before she says anything about them, "We will al be fine. Our family is strong and becoming closer as each day passes. I think last night we had a break through with Rosalie and Edward. Our family will be just fine."
Esme lets her heels drop to the floor as she rests her head upon her husband's chest. "I hope you're right," she gives, gently, tilting her head so that she can easily look up at him. "It would kill me if something happened to you," is noted. "You don't know how happy you made Rosalie, we've undervalued her for far too long," is given, lightly, settling a hand where Carlisle's unbeating heart rests.
Carlisle leans close kissing his wife on the lips fully. "Nothing is going to happen to me. You'll always have me with you." placing a hand to where her unbeating heart also rests. "We will be able to renew ourselves. This trip I look forward to it being our personal escape."
Esme closes her eyes, smiling into the kiss. "Thank you," she whispers. "Thank you for my family, Carlisle," is given with a very gentle voice. "I can't imagine life without every one of you, and you, my love, made it all possible," she means this, in every sense of the word.
Carlisle of course created this family, all because he had compassion for their unique situations. "I couldn't imagine where I'd be without you. Without you life would just have been boring and I'd just continue to exist in this changing world." he takes hold of her hand into his pulling it close against him kissing each finger. "You give me life and love beyond imagination. There is not a couple in this family or on this planet that will ever touch the love that you and I share."
Esme smiles, closing her eyes, enjoying the moment. "You truly are my life, Carlisle. As much as you gave me my life, I've loved you from the moment I first saw you. When I was a foolish girl who thought it would be fun to climb a tree," she gives with a light giggle and a peaceful smile. "You make everything right."
Carlisle smiles kissing her forehead, "Is there anything else we need to discuss? Family wise or anything else before we leave tomorrow?"
Esme shakes her head, which is nearly impossible for her head is still perfectly resting on her husband's chest. "No, I'm fine now.
Carlisle smiles brightly, "I feel like a walk in the park. Care to join me?" he asks.
Esme perks and sits upright. "A walk in the park? Oh, that sounds delightful," she gives, happily, slipping her heels back onto her feet.
Carlisle walks along the path holding onto his wife's hand. "Rather quiet today," he mentions only noticing very few people out and about. At least they can get away from here, "Anything else you need to do before the morning?"
Esme is perfectly content, and the expression on her face declares that. "No, I've got a few last minute things to pack, but that won't take very long at all," she notes, with a smile. "I was thinking of getting the kids a little something before we leave, though I don't think I could ever meet yours," she states, her hand moving to the necklace that rests about her throat. "Thank you, for this, it's such a thoughtful gift."
Carlisle nods his head, "I've been waiting for the right time to give this. Edward, Jasper, and Emmett all will receive rings much similiar to mine. I have a necklace for Bella as well, I just thought I'd wait until after the wedding to give it though."
Esme smiles. "You're so thoughtful, Carlisle. It's probably one of the loveliest gifts I've ever received. And I'm sure the rest of the family will love them as well," is stated with a firm nod of her head as she makes her way slowly about the park, letting Carlisle lead the way.
Carlisle leads her towards the swingset, "Care to venture upon our inner child?" he chuckles having a seat upon a swing.
Esme echoes Carisle's chuckle with her own. "I haven't gotten to be a little girl in years," she gives, before seating herself on one of the swings, heedless as to what the dirty swing may due to her light outfit, she can wash it and give it away.
Carlisle swings back and forth finding this rather rejuvenating. "The kids would love to see this!" he laughs trying to see just how high that he can go safely. Leaping from the swing as it reaches a top height he lands upon his feet.
Esme laughs as she watches Carlisle for a few minutes, before she pushes herself forward, propelling through the air. "Oh, they would," she calls out, her voice not increasing too much as she, too, gets as high as she can, before she follows her husbands example and leaps off the swing, when it's almost at it's highest point in the air.
Carlisle laughs running over scooping his wife up wwith one arm, then twirling her around quickly in a playful motion before falling backwards purposely to pull her with him.
Esme wraps her arms about Carlisle's neck, giggling the whole time she's being twirled around. "You're in a good mood, Love," she states as she goes backwards, her smile brighter than it has been in the last bit.
Carlisle smiles brightly to his wife, "Being with you always puts me in a good mood." Not that he was in a bad one, for the last couple of days at least. Hearing some giggling he looks over to a trio of girls watching them. Waving at them he laughs watching as they shaky wave then run away.
Esme smiles and moves a hand to gently tap the tip of her husband's nose. "I have to admit to the same. The world could end, and I'd be perfectly happy if I'm with you," she notes, before turning her head towards the giggling trio of girls, who receive a wave from Mrs. Cullen as well.
"I agree," Carlisle kisses his wife despite the 'ewwws' and giggles coming from the departing trio. Sitting up just holding onto his wife, "I hope those three grow up and know what love like this is…"
Esme really can't help the laugh at the girls ewws and such. "I hope they can be as lucky as I've been, to find true love, it's a blessing," she states, wrapping her arms about Carlisle, paying minimal attention to those around them.
"As much as I want to stay right here. Because you know we could but if you look off in the distance. There is a break in the cloud line." Carlisle explains to his wife saying this in a tone only she can hear. "Let's go home."
Esme looks in the direction noted and sighs. "I suppose we really should get going," she gives with a wistful look at that dreadful little break in the clouds. Getting to her feet she links her hand with her husbands, and turns about, home beckons.
Later that afternoon, with all the family out, Rose lays stretched out on her bed. She's trying to write in the journal, but the page is blank. She heard the others come home, of course, but didn't go out to see who it was. Instead, she doodles in the margins of the journal page.
Two sets of footfalls can be heard through the house, one slightly heavier than the other. Both sets make their way up the stairs, stopping outside the master bedroom. A quiet murmur is all that can be heard before the door opens, and then closes, leaving the lighter set of feet to make their way to the corner room and gently tap upon the door. "Rose?" she questions, waiting for her daughter to answer before she dares to enter the room.
"Yeah?" Rose lays there on the bed, sitting up part way. "You can come in, Esme." She sits up more fully, folding her legs underneath her.
Esme opens the door and steps inside, closing it behind her before she offers a smile towards the blond. "How are you, Rose? I haven't had a chance to sit down and talk with you in the last few days," she notes.
Rosalie shrugs her shoulders as she scoots over to make room for Esme on the bed. "I'm fine. I'm always fine. Why? Are you doing okay? Looking forward to the trip?"
Esme settles on the bed. "I just wanted to check on you, Dear. I understand that, maybe this last little bit has been tough on you. With working on tracking, and everyone suddenly deciding you're right, and vocalizing it," she gives, chuckling a bit. "I'm well, you're father and I went for a lovely walk in the park, grossed out some young girls, I believe," she gives, chuckling and shaking her head. "And I absoloutly am, Rosalie, you couldn't know how excited I am to go."
Rosalie picks at a string on her comforter. "I…" She stops, then starts again. "I'm fine, Esme. I just..I'm having trouble understanding. I am no different. None at all." This seems to bother her. "It means, if I am no different, that all those times I was hurt, feeling the family had judged me harshly, or they were unfair….some of those times, I was right. I thought Edward hated me for thinking those things..but if..if I'm no different…then something else changed."
Esme nods slightly. "I can understand how that would make things a little confusing," she gives, her voice gentle. "We've all loved you, since the day you joined this family, even if Edward wouldn't like to admit it," Esme notes, with a slight laugh. "I believe the pressure of the last little bit has caused us all to look at things a little better, and we all know what you're doing for this family. And we appreciate it, we're all just opening our eyes a little more," is noted. "I'll be right back, Rosalie," she notes, and, she literally is, she's up, out the door, and back in the room within seconds, this time holding a box. "My mother gave this to me, before my human marriage," she notes, quietly, offering Rosalie the box and its contents.
Rosalie lowers her head as she listens to her mother, lifting her hand as if she has a headache perhaps. "Edward didn't, Esme. You forget, I heard the things he said to Carlisle. He didn't like me. I…heard everything, while I was turning." She stays put, waiting for Esme to return. A raised brow, she reaches out for the box. "I just…I don't feel like myself right now. I know I haven't changed. But I don't feel like myself. I haven't argued with anyone in /days/." The box is opened, and Rosalie looks within. "Its lovely, Esme."
Esme shrugs. "Well than Edward is just an idiot," she gives with a slight wink. "I loved you from the moment you first entered our house," she states with a smile. "My grandmother gave that to my mother before she married my father, it was rather ahead of fashion at the time," she gives with a light giggle. "My mother had no siblings, and nor did I. The only reason I still have it is it's the one human thing I couldn't part with. Now I understand that I was just waiting for the right time to give it to my oldest daughter," Esme smiles. "Mama told me, that for all my stubborn, foolish, hard headed ways, for all the fights I started and the stupid things I did, I would always be her baby. I don't know how I remember that," a laugh and a dismissive wave. "So, Rosalie, for all of your stubborn, sometimes foolish, and always hard headed ways, every one of which I love you, you're always my daughter. I will forever love you, and respect you. And I will listen to what you have to say, even though I've been neglectful in doing that in the past."
Rose looks up at Esme, listening, and her bottom lip starts to quiver. She listens though, the whole way through, and even sniffles, though there is no need to because she can't cry. "I can't take this from you, Esme. It's the one thing you kept. And I…" She draws a slow breath. "I won't have anyone to pass it on to. I love being your daughter. You've never made me feel like you were using me. Or like I was special only for what I could gain you, which isn't much." She leans over to hug Esme, crying tearless sobs.
Esme smiles and gives her daughter a tight hug. "I want you to have it, Rosalie. It doesn't matter that you have no one to give it to. I didn't expect I'd have anyone to give it to until you came along," she points out, rubbing a hand upon Rosalie's back. "You're very special to me, Rose, you always bring a smile to me, and I love that about you," she nods, her decision made.
Rosalie's shoulders shake as no tears fall. This has all really been to much. A symbol of purity? The best daughter ever? All the tracking. Having to fight Edward, then have him spill his guts. Having everyone all saying she is right, when for decades, she's been wrong. "I can't live up to all this, Esme. I'm not perfect. I know I act like I am, but I'm not." She's scared. She's going to let them down.
Esme laughs and shakes her head. "No, my Dear, you're not perfect, but you're perfect enough for me," is given. "I couldn't of been prouder of you if you were my biological daughter. If I'd been given a choice, when I was pregnant, you would have been my little girl, though I wouldn't wish that fate upon you," is stated as Esme takes an unnecessary breath. "I don't expect perfection from you, I don't want perfection from you, I want my Rose from you, and you do an amazing job at that."
Rosalie hugs tight to her mother, holding on so tightly, if they were human she'd be hurting her. "Thank you." It's barely a whisper, but Rosalie doesn't know what more to say. "I…my mother…was not like you." That is all she can really manage.
Esme smiles. "I'm very thankful to your mother, Rose, because of her, I have one of the most delightful daughters in the world, and I never have to give you up," is stated, with a nod of her head. "You make up a portion of my world, you and your siblings and your father," is noted, smiling. "Now, no more crying," although tears are impossible, "you're far too wonderful for that."
Rosalie whispers, softly, still not letting go. "Esme, it hurts. In my chest. Carlisle…he thinks writing it down will help. That writing it down will somehow numb the memories. But it won't. I know it won't. I dread it. It's coming. I can feel it, Esme. I love you, no matter how I act, I love you. And you are my mother…and you have been more to me than any human mother could have been."
Esme pulls Rosalie as close as she can. "I know Rose," she gives, gently. "I don't vividly remember my past, but I remember some of it. My Rose, I know there are many things you wish for, but I'm glad you've never had to feel the pain of having and losing a child," she whispers gently. "And know that I love you, no matter what you do, or what you so, or what I do or say, you're my oldest daughter."
Rosalie nods her head against her mother. "I know you are glad I've never felt that. But it doesn't change that I want one, Esme. I'm sorry you had to feel that pain, and you remember it. I..I know how it is to remember the pain." She takes a deep, steadying breath, pulling back to look at her mother's face.
Esme nods. "I know, Sweetie. I wish you could be as lucky as I've been, to have the most wonderful children," is given in a gentle tone. "I wish I could find a way for you to have a little one, but I can't do that."
"I know." Her voice is a whisper as she calms. "No one can. I know. If there was a way, Carlisle would have found it by now. I just need to let it go. I need to walk away, and forget I want it." She takes another deep breath. "I just have to walk away, and know that is one thing I can never have."
Esme tightens the hug, just a bit, before loosening it. "I doubt you'll ever stop wanting it, Rose, I don't think any of us expects that. It's something you've wanted since you were human, and I expect it's something you'll always want," is noted. "We all just have to understand and accept that."
"Emmett. Esme..he feels bad because he can't give it to me. I know he does. I see it on his face, in his sometimes. He'll catch me watching a woman with her baby in a store or something. And I know it hurts him. I wouldn't hurt him for anything. But I can't stop it. And he can't give it to me. I don't know what to do."
Esme nods as she listens. "I suppose the only thing you really can do is to talk to him. Tell him you understand that it's not something he can give to you, as much as you may want it," is given, gently. "Carlisle knows that I would love to hold a little one in my arms again, and it hurts more somedays than others. Those are the days that he just tells me he loves me and holds me, he gives me what he can," is given, nodding slightly. "Let Emmett know that you understand that he can't give that to you, and you love him no matter what. He knows you'd never intentionally cause him to hurt, in anyway, but his love for you makes him feel that pain."
"I've told him, Esme. I've told him that many times. I think you've told him too, likely. I know you've seen him watch me watch them. I guess, all I can do is hold him." Rose rubs at her head again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking about all this. You're trying to be happy to go on your trip. I didn't mean to drag you down. I don't even like talking about these things. You just got me crying, and it tends to all spill out."
Esme nods slightly. "Just hold him, then. I know it hurts, to not be able to have the one thing you want the most," she gives, before chuckling slightly. "Rosalie, mother's are here to listen to their children. Any human mother with an teenage daughter would probably faint in shock if I were to tell them I still get to have heart to hearts with you," she points out. "And, for reference, I am happy, I'm very happy that your father and I get to go on this trip, and I know it will be wonderful, because I know you put so much thought into it," her words are, of course, heartfelt, gentle in tone and filled with love. "Please, never feel that you can't come to me. I'll always be here for you."
"Thank you." She leans in to hug Esme once more. "I've..been emotional the last few days. I know it isn't like me. I'm sure I'll be fine by the time you get back. Just fine. And I'll make sure to keep the house clean, and try to not let the boys fight inside. But when they do, I'll get it fixed before you come back."
Esme offers Rosalie a bright smile. "You're allowed to be emotional, my dear, it's been a rough few days, it seems like a lot of us have had our little epiphanies, and we've all been treating you a bit differently than we normally did. I don't think the last part is about to change anytime soon, we've seen the light," she gives with a slight chuckle. "And I trust that you will, I need this place in good order so that I can get started on the pool when I get back," she states, non-chalantly. "You may want to think about what you want to go with that pool, Rosalie."
Rosalie nods a little, before it begins to sink in. "Wait. Pool? What pool? What are you talking about?"
Esme chuckles. "When your father and I get back, I'm going to have some contractors come and build us a pool. Don't you think it's about time we had one?" she questions, with an upraised brow. "Of course, the house will need to be in good order for that."
Rosalie blinks. "You mean…a big swimming pool?" Rose nearly bounces on her bed. "Emmett is going to /love/ that!!" He's going to love Rose's bikinis, at the very least. "Is it going to be all natural stone, almost like a grotto?"
Esme nods. "Like a big swimming pool," she gives, chuckling at Rose's excitement. "I expect the whole family will like it. And yes, it can be natural stone. I haven't made any concrete decisions on what it will include, so you better start giving me some ideas. I haven't told anyone except your father," is given, never mind that both Alice and Edward probably know.
"Am I allowed to tell Emmett?!" This is important. Rose doesn't do well trying to hide things from him. "I think, given the woods all around us, a more natural looking one would be good. Not something like in Hollywood, some big white concrete thing. Natural stones, and waterfalls, and the boys would never forgive you if there wasn't a waterslide.."
Esme laughs and nods. "Of course you can tell Emmett, you can tell everyone if you want, Rose," is stated, smiling. "Maybe it'll keep you kids out of trouble for at least part of the time we're away, thinking up how it's supposed to look, thinking of ideas for when I get home. I want a lot of family influence on this project."
Rosalie nods slowly. "Okay. I'll let everyone know. And we'll all be sure to have someone draw up what we want, and what we can't live without. I suppose we should put a heater in it, just in case humans come by to swim."
Esme nods slightly, before chuckling. "A heater, of course. I wouldn't have thought of that," is given with a grin. "Maybe we can build the slide in so it looks fairly natural, maybe on the edge of the forest, so that the shade of the trees is there," Esme shrugs with this. "I'll worry about location later."
"Maybe. But then the boys will take to swinging off the trees and landing in the pool. Before you know it, all your branches and shade will be broken off because of them. Maybe if you made them some rope swings, it would keep them from doing that." Boys. Might as well be children.
Rosalie exhales, fully calming down, finally. "Esme…do you ever wish you could sleep?" Such an odd question, really.
Esme nods. "I suppose I do. Not so much to dream, I have all my dreams, but just to fall asleep, in the arms of my husband," she shrugs. "Knowing that my family is sleeping, peacefully in their rooms, holding their own loved ones, complete."
"I miss that. After all this time, I miss sleeping. I miss taking a nap. I miss that tired, groggy, happy sleepy feeling when you first wake, and rays of sunshine are coming in your window. I swear, I /feel/ like I'm tired some days. I know I'm not really. But I want to be. I want to know what it was to wake up in Emmett's arms, after sleeping all night."
Esme smiles, reassuringly. "You probably are, at least, mentally and emotionally, if not physically. We may not be able to sleep anymore, but we still feel. And when we've been through so much, we're emotionally drained," is given. "Some days there's nothing more that I could want, than to just curl up in bed, next to Carlisle, to fall asleep, and wake up with him at my side," is offered. "You've been through a lot more than we have, or at least than I have, but I expect that you've felt like that more recently."
"I have recently, yes. Like I just want to lay down, and close my eyes. I envy Bella in that. That she can take a nap, or feel the security of sleeping there with Edward. Sometimes, it just feels like it all catches up to me. But no amount of rest makes it go away. I guess it just…either I get used to it, or it fades on its own, or maybe I get distracted.
Esme nods, listening to every word Rosalie has to say. "I have to agree with you, on that, Rosalie. If I could change something about being a vampire, I'd change that we can't sleep. Sometimes I pretend that that's what I'm about to do. Go to my room, prepare for bed, crawl under the covers, and lay there. It's nothing like the real thing, though."
Rosalie grins, just a little. "You do that too? Emmett laughs at me. So then I make him come and lay down next to me. But…well. That doesn't get us anywhere near sleep."
Esme nods, before she starts chuckling. "I imagine that you two just get further from sleeping when that happens," she gives with a wink and a shake of her head. "You're father doesn't laugh at me, sometimes he'll lay down with me, it can be quite relaxing, but sleep just doesn't occur," she gives, shaking her head a little. "Humans truly don't realize how lucky they are some days, but I think we're lucky too. When Carlisle and I went to the park, well, I suppose you could say we were being a typical lovey-dovey couple. There were some teenage girls there, and I think they found our affection to be… gross? Perhaps…" Esme laughs.
Rosalie wrinkles up her nose. "Yes. I imagine they did. No one likes to imagine others being lovey dovey like that. It was all I could do in the dining room with Edward and Bella not to say anything. I can't imagine how you all were, watching Emmett and I fall in love."
Esme smiles. "I never minded, I was happy to know that you had found your love, and were as lucky as I was," is offered. "Though I have to say, I feel bad for Edward on that, he got to watch both Carlisle and myself, and you and Emmett. Now he's got Bella, so I think we all get to find it a little 'gross', for all we put him through."
Rosalie scoots closer to her mother. "He loved me from the minute he opened his eyes, you know. He called me his angel, right from the start. I'm not sure why I resisted him for as long as I did. I guess…I was…well, you know../him/." She says it with /that/ tone. She won't even give the beast the respect of saying his name. "I didn't want anyone. I wanted to be alone and bitter."
Esme chuckles. "I've no doubt he loved you from the moment he laid his eyes on you. You're gorgeous, inside and out, and Emmett probably saw that. He can be a very insightful person," she gives. "As much as it sounds odd, Rosalie, you and I have a similar background, I wish I could trade you places, so you wouldn't remember yours as well as you do."
"Everyone gets to bring a gift with them, right?" Rosalie shrugs. "That is what Carlisle says. I guess mine…was more a curse. Memory."
Esme shakes her head. "No, Sweetie, your memory isn't a curse. It makes you, quite possibly, more human than the rest of us. You remember, so distinctly, what it is to sleep, to eat, to feel pain, we don't remember that, not very well," is given. "And you make us more human for that."
Esme nods as she listens. "I remember that. Did I ever tell you that my memories are the clearest when Carlisle was involved?" she questions, giggling slightly. "I remember the first time I ever met him, quite clearly. But I think, had I know at sixteen, what he was, I probably would have asked for the same thing Bella wants," she gives, nodding her head, just a little.
Rosalie says, so quietly. "Esme…" She listens to what her mother has to say, then repeats.."Esme. We can't let him do this. We can't let him change her. She will lose all that. I was…I was wrong. We can all fight. We..we can.."
Esme shakes her head. "No, Rosalie. I love Bella's humanity as much as you do," she gives, gently. "But the decision's been made. And I won't fight them over this. I won't risk losing any one of you," she gives, certain of her words. "She does want this, Rosalie, she knows what she's losing. Bella's gotten a lot more say, and has put a lot more thought, in this than the rest of us did."
"But I don't think she does, Esme. Does she consider the little things? Like…never being able to have her hair longer than it is now. Or never having her heart race when Edward looks at her again. Or never taking a nap in the sun. Or never being tan. Or, god forbid, she break a fingernail. No alcohol will ever effect her. No drugs will ever make her high. Never curling up in a blanket again to get warm.."
Esme listens to her daughters worries. "Rose, I don't think that matters to Bella. She wants to be with Edward, and the only way for her to do that is to be one of us," is given. "If and when the Volturi come here, Rose, and she's still human, consider the ramifications for the family. They would kill Bella, and that's a fate worse than being a vampire, especially as they'd probably turn on every one of us, for letting her in on our little secret."
"But Esme. We made the wrong decision. I was /wrong/. I was being selfish." Rose sits up on her knees, getting more passionate about it the more she talks. Someone knock the girl out!! "She doesn't understand how it is to be without these things, Esme. She can't. She is focused only on Edward and being with him. And what if Edward is right? What if after she changes, she doesn't even want him any more?"
Esme shakes her head. "You weren't wrong, Rose," is given, firmly. "We can't back out on this now. Bella is getting married in two months, going on her honeymoon with Edward and then he will turn her, and if he doesn't do it, Carlisle will," she gives, firmly. "Please don't fight us on this, Rosalie, you know that, on this one thing, we can't listen. If we don't turn her, they will come, they will take her. Do you want to see that happen to Edward? What if they took Emmett from you?"
Rosalie lifts her hand to her head once more. Unfortunately, she's talking herself out of having been right. "Esme..there..there has to be a way around it. I can learn tracking harder! I can smell them coming! I can…I can…we can all leave!"
Esme shakes her head, more fiercly. "No, Rosalie," she's firm in her words. "This is not something we can compromise on. Bella is going to be turned, Rosalie. That is final," uh oh, enter 'Mom Esme'.
Slowly, Rosalie nods her head, settling back onto the bed to sit once more. It takes her a moment, then her head nods again, and she says only, quietly, "Okay."
Esme cringes, feeling quite guilty over actually pulling out the mom card, something she so rarely does. "I'm sorry, Rosalie, you know I hate to actually be the mom," she gives, her tone softening. "But I agree with that selfish side of you, that wanted Bella changed so that nothing would happen to Emmett. I'm not going to lose Carlisle, or any of you."
You paged Alice with ''Esme shakes her head, more fiercly. "No, Rosalie," she's firm in her words. "This is not something we can compromise on. Bella is going to be turned, Rosalie. That is final," uh oh, enter 'Mom Esme'.''
Her answer is a whisper. "But it isn't right, Esme. It's not right. I was wrong. And I convinced all of you wrong. I know the decision has been made. But I was wrong."
Alice chooses this moment to enter. Of course, she already knew what this was about - she saw Rose changing her mind miles away. But it was clearly necessary for Alice to step in. "Rose. You didn't convince us. The whole Volturi-going-to-kill-us-if-we-don't-do-it managed to do the trick."
Esme shakes her head. "No." firm, precise, determined. "You were /not/ wrong, Rosalie Lillian Hale-Cullen," uh oh. "You were right. Bella /has/ to be changed. It's necessary. It's happening. Please be happy for them. This is what Bella wants, and it will make Edward very happy. So happy, he'll probably even be nice to you."
Oooooooh. Now that was not fair. She doesn't like the Cullen last name! Whoosh. Here comes the stubborn streak that Esme claims to love. "Esme. Last I checked in this house, we were allowed to have our own feelings an opinions on things. I am simply reversing my decision from the meeting last night upon further review. It doesn't change the outcome, but I can still change my mind!"
Esme smiles, sweetly, rather liking this side of her daughter. "You are perfectly allowed to change your mind, and you can change it as many times as you want, but the decision has been made, and is final," Alice gets a slight nod. "You have two months to accustom yourself to that thought."
Bella is pretty much stumbling along in the wake of Alice. Her eyes redrimmed and still damp with tears. Esme's words really snap Bella from her daze as she looks into the room over Alice's shoulder. She stands there frozen for a moment her gaze shifting between Esme and Rosalie. "I am changing…I will change before the wedding if I have to." She says in almost flat voice, her jaw tight as her gaze settles on Rosalie. "Please do not talk Edward out of it." Only now is there a pleading look to those red rimmed eyes.
Oh man, The Full Name. Esme really means business when she pulls out The Full Name. When The Full Name is used, vampires everywhere cower like little kittens threatened with a hose. Alice pales, if that's possible, but remains silent. She looks from mother to sister to soon-to-be-sister and back, a bit like watching a tennis match.
Rosalie does not cower! She is not a kitten, and Esme has no hose! Besides, now she's mad! "Fine. Then I will take my two months. And I will argue my point every time the conversation comes up. And I will not give up until it is done." Or she changes her mind again, whichever comes first. Her gaze turns to Bella, and she raises her pinkie finger. That has a shorter fingernail. "Bella. I broke that fingernail in October of 1975 working on the engine of my baby in the Tennessee house. It will never, ever, ever grow back." Because, you know. That is what this is all about. Broken fingernails.
Esme offers a slight smile towards Bella, but stays seated on Rosalie's bed. "Rose, Dear, you know we respect your opinion, and will listen to you. If you can manage to talk Bella out of it, we may even consider changing our minds," although that's not likely. "But until either A) you change her mind, or B) she's changed, the decision has been made," her voice is gentle, calm, but firm in what she's said.
At the display of the single broken nail, Bella just blinks for a moment before raising her own stubby finger nailed fingers. Pretty much all bitten down to the quick. "I think I will cope." She says in a flat voice. Ok. Round one down. Another two hundred to go no doubt. "I love him Rosalie, asking me to give this up is like asking Emmett to give you up. If I am lucky…I have what another fifty years with him as a human where I grow older and more frail with each year. Considering I am not lucky…well you know what happened in Italy." It is a threat. If she dies, Edward dies.
"Rose," Alice says softly. "Rosie. Listen to me. Bella doesn't care about broken fingernails, or not getting to grow her hair long, or anything like that. She cares about being with Edward for eternity. And guess who else care about Bella?" Alice's voice rises. "THE VOLTURI! Remember them? Big scary guys? Red eyes?" Alice makes claws with her hands and assumes a frowny face. "Grar! Ringing any bells? They will /kill her/ if she doesn't become a vampire. She can't enjoy being a human if she's /dead/, now can she?"
With a heavy sigh, Rosalie goes on. "Its not just broken fingernails. It is curling up with a blanket and taking a nap. It is waking up in Edward's arms. It is the sound of a baby crying. It is feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin, or feeling your heart rate rise when you dance…" She shakes her head, sinking back onto the bed. "Fine. I have two months."
Esme gently rests her hand upon Rosalie's arm. "I know you don't want Bella to lose her humanity, Rose, but it has to happen. She's part of this family as it is, might as well make it official," is given, her tone soft. "Besides, Alice is right."
Bella listens quietly to Rosalie's list, her eyes direct on her face. This was not the best time for this debate, not on on the heals of talking to Jacob. "I got a big fat target stuck on my forehead Rosalie. Staying human will mean always running, always hiding. How will I enjoy curling up in a warm blanket…how dare I bring a child into that world if it was even possible? What good is a heart beat when it feels like the tick of a clock that just ticks faster and faster to our deaths?" Tears well up in her eyes again, threatening to fall down her cheeks, "Do you really hate us so much?"
Alice looks from Esme to Rosalie to Bella and back to Esme again. It was indeed just like tennis. This round, though, she decides not to participate. She merely sits on Rose's bed with Esme and watches.
Rosalie was listening. She really was. Right up until Bella's last sentence. You can see the hardness come to her eyes and hide her softness on the subject just as surely as those metal shutters cover the back windows. Cold, hard Rosalie. "Oh. MAN. You /finally/ figured it out, Bella! How did you not see it until now? YES. I hate you both exactly that much. I have been running around like an idiot for a week and a half, chasing down GOLF balls because, yes. I hate you. And Edward. Everything I have done was all fake. And I did it all to lead to this moment on my bed because I hate you." Yeah. Sarcasm much?
Esme watches the two, shaking her head. "She really doesn't hate you Bella, understand that. She's doing a lot for this family, as she noted," is given, her voice gentle. "A lot to keep you alive."
Rosalie's words hit Bella as if she had been slapped by them. Yes she knew she went too far when she asked the question, but its been a rotten day. "I am sorry…" She whisper as she finally leans against the doorframe and slides down to the floor. "I just love him more than life itself…" She says in a cracked voice as she just sits there. She looks up to Esme with an almost forlorn expression, "I know…" She starts before her voice cracks again and she looks up to Rosalie, "I know…damn it I know the sacrifices this family has endured for me and Edward. There are days I wish I could just walk away and save you all the work." Her hand reaches up and clenches at her chest, "I am just now whole without him, and I can never be equal as I am. He will forever be driving around on the ice when he is with me." Bella says using Rosalie's own analogy now.
Alice has one thing to say, and one thing alone. There really isn't anything else that needs to be said. Everything else is being said already. But this? This needs to be asked. ".. um. Golf balls?"
"Yeah. He will be. But you'd be alive." Rose's tone is still tense and hard. She really did just shut it down, as soon as Bella accused her of hating her. Now there will be no getting her to change her mind back tonight. Alice just gets a glare for her question as Rosalie folds her arms across her chest. The Princess has Spoken.
Esme turns to Alice. "Rosalie is working on tracking, she's using golf balls to help her," she gives with a slight nod of her head. "Rosalie, I'm not asking you to change your mind, again, but your determination is only going to help Edward," she gives, trying to play that card. "The more determined you are, the more he'll use it to keep from turning Bella, and we're looking out for the families safety, which includes you, Rosalie," and Bella, and Edward, and Alice and Jasper and Emmett, all of them.
Bella opens her mouth to say something but just closes it again at the look upon Rosalie's face. She drops her gaze down to her knees, quiet as Esme speaks. The talk of golf balls just blurred words in the background. She finally takes a breath before looking up to the women. "I know what I am facing in the next year…that it could be years before…" She waves her fingers helplessly around the house, indicating the home around her. Before she finishes the thought she is pushing herself up from the floor, pulling herself up by the door frame. "You didn't have a choice…I get that. I do…I have seen what I will face and I still chose Edward and everything that choice entails." Her voice is sad as she turns away from the room.
Alice sighs. She knew when Rose had shut down, there was nothing anyone could do about it. It was just done. Kaput. Steel doors locked tight. So she could only sigh, wrap one arm around her sister and one around her mother, and snuggle close.
Rosalie isn't going to fight with Bella. She's done fighting now. She says, simply, "If it doesn't matter what I think, Bella, then I should be able to think whatever I want. And yes, I know I'm agreeing with Edward." She leans over onto her sister, lips moving in a whisper meant only for her as a quiet sigh escapes.
"It matters Rosalie…" Bella says in a low voice from the hallway. On so many levels it matters.
Esme wraps an arm about Rosalie, again. "Whatever decision you make, Rosalie, remember what I told you earlier," she requests, referring back to her comment on loving Rosalie, no matter what. "Bella, you must be hungry, let's go get you some food," she suggests, giving Rose another squeeze before getting to her feet and making her way to the hallway.
Alice wraps both arms around her sister, whispering back in her ear as she hugs her, before kissing her gently on the cheek and rising from the bed. "I'm going to go read in bed. But I'll be just next door if you need me.. just knock on the wall, and I'll come."
Rosalie gives a slow nod to her mother, and then to her sister. "Thanks Alice." She turns then, curling up on her bed and closing her eyes, trying just one more time to make sleep home.
Esme nods slightly. "Take care, my Rose. I hope to see you before you're father and I leave," she requests, before stepping out of Rose's room, ensuring the door is firmly closed behind everyone who's exiting.
It has been a pretty rotten Easter for Bella. Well it started out alright and then just…degenerated. First Edward's declaration of another reason to put off the change…a Honeymoon. Jacob's reaction, then the fight with Rosalie. For now she is curled up in the middle of the bed, arms holding tight to a pillow as she is fighting off tears into it. Fairly unsuccessfully. She looks fairly like the frail little human she is, curled up in the middle of the massive iron framed bed.
Esme doesn't really worry about knocking. Instead she quietly opens the door to Edward and Bella's room and walks right in. Closing the door behind her she makes her way for the bed, where her future daughter-in-law lays. The woman sits on the bed and looks at Bella for a moment or two. "Bella? Come here," she holds an arm open for the girl.
She never really was the child with Renee. She always had to be the mother. Sure her mother kissed her booboos better as a kid, but really it was more like two sisters living together. Esme…well to Bella she is everything a mom was supposed to be. The words, those few words break down the dam on the tears and as she crawls over to Esme they start to fall freely down her cheeks. "I am sorry Esme…I shouldn't have said that to Rosalie…I shouldn't be here making things harder for you all…" The words come out in a torent of self doubt.
Esme holds Bella close, yet being careful of the teens human condition, not wanting to actually hurt her. "Why apolagize, Bella? We want you here, you wouldn't be in this room if we didn't," she points out. "Rosalie wants you to understand what you're leaving behind. She remembers being human better than the rest of us, and there's a lot of things she misses about being human," is given, gently. "And I can't blame her, there's a few things I miss about it to. It really comes down to you giving up your humanity, willingly," her tone never changes as she speaks, it's always gentle and full of love.
The cold granite embrace is comforting to Bella and she nestles into the woman's arms, letting her tears fall against her blouse. Complete trust there. "I know and sometimes I am so scared…" She starts through sniffles, "Not about the process…I think there could be nothing worse than the pain I suffered when he left me…" She shakes her head, "Not about Eternity with Edward…just after. Will I be his Bella still?" Fears she would never admit to Rosalie. Fears she might not even admit to Esme if it weren't for her state of mind at the moment. "I can see no other path…It won't be like it was for Rosalie…I wish she would see that. This is a …choice that she never had. It is a choice I am making."
Esme gently rocks herself and Bella, playing the mother that she never got to be as a human. "I wouldn't be too worried about that, Bella. You'll still have your personality, you'll still be you," she notes, confidently. "Rosalie is still Rosalie, I'm still Esme, Jasper is still Jasper," Esme gives. "You just have to understand, Bella, that it's not a choice Rosalie got, it's not a choice any of us got, so none of us can really say we understand the choice, but you've made it, and we have to stand by that."
Bella looks up at Esme, wiping away her tears on the back of her sleeve. She remains quiet as she speaks, listening quietly with the occasional sniffle that almost seems to echo in the near empty room. "I..love him. Love guides my choice, not fear..not fear of the volturi, not even fear of death. I want to be an equal partner to Edward, like you and Carlisle, Jasper and Alice, Rosalie and Emmett." She tilts her head to rest against the woman's chest. "I just wish my decision didn't have to heard so many people."
Esme smiles, nodding slightly, before she speaks. "I know the feeling, to an extent. Did anyone ever tell you that I was sixteen when I first met Carlisle?" she questions, her smile growing a little. "I didn't know what he was when I met him, but I know that I loved him," she shakes her head slightly. "Anyway. We understand that you want to be his equal, I think even Rosalie understands that."
Bella finally draws out of the embrace, but doesn't move away. Just trying to get her composure back, occasionlly just wiping the tears from her face. At the question Bella blinks with surprise and shakes her head, "No…I thought…" Well she knows how Esme 'died' but that was eight or so years later. A faint smile touches her lips and she reaches her hand to touch on Esme's, "Fate?" She laughs a bit even as she says it, thinking the idea silly in a way. She looks down at the bed, letting her hair hide her face. Finally she takes a breath and looks up, "I will listen to her, I do not think it will sway me, but I will listen. If I can't face what I missing then I am not ready."
Esme chuckles. "I broke my leg, I'd climbed a tree, and fallen out of the tree, breaking my leg. The normal doctor was out of town. I went in to have my leg set, and who should I see, but the most gorgeous man I'd ever met," she states, chuckling. "I'm certain my heart gave me away the moment I did lay eyes on him, but I didn't know it at the time," Esme gives, chuckling lightly. "I don't expect you're decision to be swayed, Bella, but listening to her may appease her a bit. She really is looking out for you. She doesn't want you to lose your humanity, and you will. You won't have a heartbeat, you won't have that nice flush to your cheeks…"
Bella listens to the tale with a touch of wonder in her eyes, her glistening gaze just mesmerized. She finally nods to the words about Rosalie, "I promise I will listen." Then to the rest she shakes her head almost vehemently, "How can you say that I will lose my humanity Esme? You of all people…you hold the very essence of being human in such great abundance. What is more …human than love?" She shakes her head, "You are speaking of organs, frail and finite, I am speaking of your souls and while Edward does not believe he has one…I look at you all and your souls just shine out of your eyes."
Esme smiles. "You're so sweet, Bella," is given. "You're right, though. You'll still retain you personality and your love," Esme offers. "Just things that you may not think of. I think Rosalie and I think of the little details more than would be expected, they're things that we miss, just a bit. I know Rosalie would love the opportunity to have that back, so she wants to make sure you're making a well informed decision," a pause in her dialogue. "I know you have made your choice, and this is what you want, everyone does, except maybe Edward and Rose."
Bella gives a little shoulder shrug at the compliment, biting her lower lip as she looks down. She looks at the little patterns in the bedsheet as Esme speaks. Thinking not only of this conversation, but the one with Rosalie before…and the one last night. "I worry we will grow to resent each other if we can't just…touch. If we can't kiss like you and Carlisle do without him being afraid of hurting me, without me always wanting more of him than he thinks he can give." She admits to one of the many factors of her decision. She nods at the last looking up finally, "He has put it off for two years now…and I have given him that. Maybe he thought I would change my mind, but my resolve has only strengthened."
Esme nods, listening word for word to her future daughter. "I doubt he could ever resent you, Bella, I bet, once you're turned, he'll be wondering why he waited for so long," she gives with a smile. "I know you'll enjoy being a vampire, you'll be a good one, too."
"I hope so.." Bella says with a little shoulder shrug before giving a little self deprecating laugh, "I will just be happy if I don't trip over my own feet once I am turned. An eternity as a helpless klutz? Now that would be worse than an eternity at high school." She says trying to lighten the mood.
Esme laughs and shakes her head. "No, you won't stay a klutz, that much I'm certain," she offers, chuckling. "You'll be fine, Bella, and even if you aren't, Edward will still catch you when you fall," is given with a smile.
Bella just laughs, "Good." She wipes away those last remnants of her tears, blushing a little at the words about Edward, "I am sure he would…" She grins before a slight rumble of her stomach causes her to grimace, "And my body giving me away at the worse times…that I won't miss." She says with a shake of her head before wrapping her fingers around Esme's hand, "Thank you…"
Esme smiles. "He will, besides, you'll be able to catch yourself when you're turned, you'll have super speed. Besides, what good is being inhumanly beautiful if you're just going to fall, though I suppose that some would find that to be an endearing quality," is given as she very gently squeezes Bella's hand. "Come on, it's time to feed the human," Esme offers, laughing.
"Yes…lets feed the human." Bella says with a laugh and moves to slide off the side of the bed, "Thanks for coming in here, I would have hate for Edward to have found me like that." She says lightly as she moves toward the door before turning to look at Esme, "I am not sure when Jacob will be back…he didn't take it so well…there was someone there with him. She said she would look after him."
Esme exits the room an dmakes her way towards the stairs. "Jacob will be alright, Bella. He's hurting. He really does love you, but he understands that this is what you want," she gives, a slight frown pulling at her mouth, she really does care about the wolf. "I hope he comes by soon, though, he knows he's got an open invitation to come visit," a firm nod of her head is given with this.
Bella takes a deep breath and stuffs her hands in her jeans, "I know Esme…I love him too…just.." She glances back to Edward's bed briefly before looking back to Esme, "Not the same way as he loves me." She gives a shrug as she follows Esme, "Maybe this will finally let him look elsewhere…" She says hopefully as she steps out on the stairs, nearly tripping on the first step before hands are quickly out of pockets and on the railing.
Esme walks behind Bella down the stairs, in case she needs to catch the teen. "I know, Bella, and that's okay. He'll figure it out one day, hopefully sooner rather than later. I'm sure he's only looking out for you, you seem to inspire that reaction in people," is noted, with a chuckle.
