Malice And Pain

IC Time: May 12, 2007
Location: Forks - Swan Residence: Living Room
Synopsis: A simple visit to the Swan Residence turns horribly wrong.
Submitted by: Micah


Bella was cooking breakfast for the relatives this morning, but of course Charlie went fishing and her cousin Spence slept in, so she still has quite a bit of food available. The smell no doubt wafting out the windows inticing wolves from miles away. At the knock on the door, "Come on in…" She calls out. Charlene is here as well, but she has gone out the back to answer a phone call.

The door opens and Micah walks in slowly, dressed well like usual with his accompanying satchel and a smile on his face, "Hey Bella." he looks around, smelling a few new scents in the house which he is not accustomed to and eyes the table, "Did I come at a bad time or..?" he trails off slightly and gives a questioning look towards you and fumbles slightly with his satchel as his eyes automatically scan the room.

Bella actually looks relieved when she sees Micah, "Oh good…have you eaten? Charlie and Spence both bailed on me! I made all this extra food and its gonna go to waste if you don't eat it." Guilt trip. Ploy of women everywhere. She is already grabbing an extra plate before he even answers.

Micah steps in a bit further, examining the food somewhat, and says, "No, not yet. Was messing around at the Cliffs and I figured I would come over and check to make sure everything is okay…" he smiles, though really his mind thinks of Jacob's thoughts always making him worry somewhat. The flaw of being a wolf he guesses, "…but I would of course love some food. Most of us would never turn down a free meal you know."

Bella serves up bacon, eggs and toast onto the plate and sets it down upon the table, "Why wouldn't it be?" Bella asks with an arched brow to Micah. "Emmett is on 'duty' at the moment if you were worried about me being home alone." She says in a low voice so not to carry to Charlene, though the girl seems to be in a rather animated conversation out on the back porch.

"Well you know how some of us are." he emphasizes his words and then rolls his eyes some, "So the big guy is out and about. Makes my job a lot easier." he says with a grin, "And I guess the Cliffs will have to wait for another day. Maybe the sun will come out and then I can go for a nice swim." he eats the food in front of him, slowly though since he no longer has a job to do. He is sure the others will say something about it all.

"I know…Jake worries. I worry for him as well…" Bella says as she refills her Orange juice and sits down at the table across from Micah. "You guys gonna take care of him after the wedding? He says he is ok with it…but I can tell he really isn't…" Bella says in a soft voice, hinting that she means more than just the wedding.

Micah gives a slight shrug, "I am truthfully not sure what will happen after the wedding." he pushes his eggs around slightly, worry and concern written across his face and something else. He knows how much this is hurting Jacob, but he won't say anything. "Jacob is a big guy, if he says he can handle it…he can." he looks at you and his eyes say something completely different of course and he gives a half-hearted smile.

"Well we got some time still, we are going on the honeymoon first. So it could be another month or so…" Bella says in a light voice, giving a little shrug of a shoulder as she swirls the juice around in her glass. She catches the look in his gaze and frowns before looking down at her glass again, "I don't know what to do to make this easier on him Micah…this is my life and I can't put it on hold any longer."

Glancing at you slightly as he looks up from his food, a sigh escaping his lips, "I know it is your life. Believe me I know the importance of living your life the way you want…even when others expect different things from you…" he puts his fork down and just stares at you now, "You also have to think about Jacob…I mean…" his forehead wrinkles slightly as he tries to separate his own feelings from those he garnered from the pack mind, "Nevermind..it is not my place to tell you what is right or wrong. But just remember. Jacob never left." he frowns slightly, he has heard the stories of what happened, and seen in Sam's mind what everything looked like, and he is visibly bothered by it as he shivers from an unseen chill.

"I know Micah, I love Jacob, and I don't want to hurt him…but whether I wait 1 year or five this is not going to get any easier for him. I have waited a year already. He has known the entire time what it would mean, what will happen afterward…I don't know how else to prepare him." Bella responds soundly slightly exasperated. "This …what Eddy and I have is like an imprinting from all I can tell…its electric when we touch, my heart aches when we are apart even for a few hours. Am I to give that up?"

"Of course not." he says, a slight tremor in his voice, his hands clasped together under the table. "All I am saying is that I see how it affects Jacob, and…." he closes his eyes slightly as his voice wavers. Within a moment he composes himself and his eyes open again, "All I am saying is I see it both ways. And imprinting is a forced things almost. No one knows everything about it. Those who go through it love unconditionally, but…well…Jacob loves you without the need for it, his love is as true as it gets…" he thinks of all the imprinting, the love that was not there before suddenly created and sighs, "I just don't want to see anyone hurt is all, especially Jacob."

Bella bites her lip and looks down at the table as Micah speaks. This part is obviously hurting her as well. Edward is her moon, her stars….but Jacob is her sun. His presence brings a smile to her face, a warmth to her heart, and she wished that was enough for both of them. "I love them both Micah, it hurts me that choosing one hurts the other…but Edward is the one I choose because I don't have a choice." She says with a huff of a laugh, "I lost it the moment I saw him…" She says with a breath before looking up to Micah, "He didn't imprint on me Micah…doesn't that mean there is someone else out there for him?"

Micah's jaw clinches at the mention of someone else out there for Jacob and he stands up, turning away slightly, "Yes, that is true. But it will still be there you know. He holds true feelings for you, strong feelings. Even through the imprint I doubt they will go away. Be diverted…yes…but still there." he turns towards the door, his hands fumbling with his satchel as he wipes away a tear from his right eye, "If it were up to me, you would be with him. You make him so happy Bella. I wish you knew just how much he loves you, his thoughts of you…how just hearing your name changes him…" his head tilts slightly back to you, "But it is your choice…well…according to you that is a luxury you do not have." his words having a hint of malice in them, something Micah is not known for, yet also a hoarseness like he is in pain, "But know your decisions have a lot of weight to them, they change the lives of many…both for better and worse. And Jacob's life…" he steps towards the door, "…just hope, for a lot of people's sake, he still has one after this ordeal."

Bella flinches as if she had been hit, adn she stands up quickly as well, "Damnit Micah, you don't think I know that? If I could have them both I would…" She says then bits her lip as she almost immediately regrets the admission and drops her gaze down to the floor at her feet. "There are times I want to tell him to never come by again, to save him the pain of watching me with Edward, but his presnece in my life…I am trusting on it to keep me…human even when my heart no longer beats. I will need his to beat for me, like already it does…I need to know someone human will love me despite the changes…to remind me who I am when I can't remember for myself." The words come out in a rush of fears she has been holding in. Her fingers clench on the back of the chair as she stands there. "I am sorry…"

Micah opens the door and stops, turning back to you for a moment, "And tell me Bella." his tone hurt, hoarse, and visible tears are in his eyes, "When the wedding is over, and you are in your true love's arms…" he stops himself and takes a quick breath, "When you change…your heart no longer beating. How do you expect Jacob to help you? How can his heart beat for you…when you are the one that will end up breaking it?" he wipes the tears from his eyes, his body quivering slightly as his gaze returns to you, "When you are off with your vampire…when Jacob is broken and shattered much like you were…what then? You cannot come back to him, to lift him up. You will not be the same person. What will you do then?" his brow furrows slightly, his voice in somewhat hushed tones, "All I know is if…when that happens. When you destroy Jacob…I will be there for him, all the pack will. Because we actually love him and do not want to see him hurt. But I do not know if that will even be enough to bring him back." he steps out into the gloomy sunlight, "…for him I am leaving, I do not want to know what I might do if I stay any longer, but hear this. If you hurt him…I will be there. And not as civil as I am now."

"I don't know what to do Micah…I want him taken care of. I love him and I am not ready to let him go…" Tears are in her own eyes as she looks down to her hands again. "I want …" She sighs and shakes her head and looks toward a picture of her parents that Charlie still keeps. "I have to believe it will all be worth it…" She says in a pained voice, "I just wish noone had to get hurt in the long run…but there is no way that can happen and that is killing me." She admits before looking up to him, "Take care of him for me?" She says softly.

Micah's jaw clenches even tighter, the whites of his knuckles visible as a red tint can be seen where his nails are digging into his palms, "I…you…" for once Micah is unable to verbalize, his anger, pain, sadness, all visible in his blood shot eyes. His face flush red, "If he had never come back things would be fine…" he finally gets it out but it was a forced things to do, his voice quieting down to a whisper, "…or if you had never come here. If you had just stayed where you were. Our lives would not be hell. Jacob would not be in constant pain…and I would not be in pain from seeing him that way." but with that statement he quickly turns away. His body quivering violently but then stops all of a sudden, "For Jacob…I will be nice to you. But you know my feelings. You know the truth. And I hope you can live with yourself knowing you not only destroy Jacob, but me and many others as well. I hope you can live eternity knowing that…" and he lets the phase take him. He knows he has said some things Jacob will be upset with, and also he is sure Emmett got an ear full as well, but he does not care and phases completely, his form taking on that of a giant wolf. The satchel that crossed his body now hanging from his neck and his clothes tatters on the floor.

Bella lets the tears fall down her cheeks but doesn't shy away from the strikes, taking each word like a lashing, like the punishment she deserves. Her trembling fingers tightening around the back of the chair. Once he leaves she sinks to the floor, holding her knees to her chest, trying to muffle her tears against her knees.

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